Like everyone else, I believed there was no such thing as a free lunch, but I was wrong: recently I witnessed plenty of “forward-thinking” companies putting serious money down so I, along with other diverse candidates, could get, yes, a free lunch. A few months into my new job, I was asked to attend the annual diversity luncheon to be held at a well-known city location. Like an obedient minority token, I replied “yes” although I was not sure what it actually meant, but I was intrigued. The day before the event, I got a group confirmation email, and that was when I noticed only a few of us in the organization were invited, and although I had not met everyone, I could tell by our names — all ethnic and exotic — that we were the chosen ones to represent the organization’s commitment to diversity. Wow, what a fucking honor. Like the special kids in elementary school, we were excused from normal work activities and shuttled down to the massive hall on the other side of town where white executives were herding their flock of 8-9 minorities to their purchased tables at the $1000 a pop. We were told that today, we were going to talk diversity — as opposed to any other day. But before we could do that, we were made to eat chicken Caesar salad. Besides the inedible catered lunch, we were asked to eat more bullshit in the form of pre-determined table discussion starters: If you could eliminate racism, how you would you do it? What does diversity mean to you? How do you plan to add diversity in your place of work? You may think that these questions are the worst part, but it’s actually the gullible minorities around the table who take this discussion seriously and contribute! Thinking they really will make a difference, they talk this shit up while I smile and pat them on the back for their efforts. Little do they know that when we return to the office, no one will ask them where they were and why. No one discusses the diversity luncheon afterwards or ever again. But I am confident that somewhere in someone’s job evaluation, a middle manager is getting kudos for organizing and promoting the brown and yellow people in the organization. Diversity event for 2007 - check!  See you in 2008!